Bored and seemingly devoid of commentage, I decided to work out by extrapolation how many hits per post Jason must get based on how many comments he gets. This is pure boredom speculation and entirely open tohaving the mathematical smackdown laid upon it.

On my humble blog, I selected 5 of my most commented posts and worked out using WordPress.com’s page hit counter how many views per comment on average I get.

“Ten anime I am ashamed to like” – Comments 13, Views 496 = 38.2 views/comment

“1 month old…” – Comments 11, Views 114 = 10.4

“Ero Game overload…” – Comments 6, Views 324 = 54

“Yuri Dai Batturu…” – Comments 7, Views 287 = 41

“Top 10 Yuri Underdogs” – Comments 8, Views 336 = 42

Average = 37.12 Views per comment.

Also, according to my page hit counter, WordPress.com’s post hit counter underestimates the total amount of hits by about 2/5 (i.e. collectively, the post hits make up about 3/5 of the daily total)

Therefore that gives us a views per comment of about 62.

Thinking about it, that’s not too bad – that I need to get approximately 62 views of a post before somone posts a comment.

Extrapolating this factor to Jason’s blog, he commonly gets about 30 comments for one of his normal posts which works out at about – 1860 views per post! (Though I would probably place it a lot more than that ^_^) and his recent Suzumiya Haruhi post which reaped 87 comments would have required 5394 page views! – numbers I can only dream of ^_^;;

Anyway, this has been a complete waste of time brought to you by yuribou. You may now get back to your regularly scheduled lives.

For lack of anything better to do today, I wrote another one of these -_-;;

This season’s most exciting thriller anime comes to you from the slopes of Astraea Hill. Ever wondered what girls do in all girl’s schools with mysterious shrines and suspiciously large cleavers? Then look no further than

Ichigosha no naku Koro ni (or Oyashiro-sama ga Miteru)
Only for Persons of 18 years and over

Warning this program may contain bad puns

New student Nagisa Maebara arrives in the remote all girl’s school of St. Miator’s, a high school with a horrific secret. Every year on the night of the school culture festival, a terrible curse takes place. Students talk of the terrible curse of Oyurishiro-sama, where one virgin is violently yuriraped and one disappears.

Woefully inexperienced Nagisa-chan lives in blissful ignorance of her impending plight as she goes about her everyday school life as usual with her ragtag bunch of increasingly suspicious school friends: yakuza twins Tamao and Tomoyo Sonozaki, the video camera toting demons of the Tokyo underworld, miko priestess of the school shrine Hikarika Sonohana and her loliyuriffic other half Yayako Houjou and Shizuma Ryuuguu, your typical sweet talking, cleaver toting, typical small village girl.

Nagisa is brought crashing back down to reality on the night of the festival when she accidentally stumbles on the school nurse Momomiyo Takano and the secret PE Storeroom while being glomped in the bushes by a blushing Tamao-chan looking for a session of “Nagisa naughty touching”. But Momomiyo is not all she seems, as she explains to a surprised Nagisa that the “rake” used in the festival today may be a corruption of the violent “rape” that used to happen in years gone by.

Nagisa’s fears are realised the nest morning as it is revealed that Momomiyo went missing last night. Suddenly, suspicious faces are turning up everywhere! Will Nagisa lose her virginity to Tamao-chan before she gets yuriraped into oblivion by the curse of Oyurishiro-sama? Join us to find out!

Right, enough of those for now ^_^;;

Ix

Do you like guns and mechas? Do you like yuri? Do you like…err…panicking?Then this is the show for you! Look forward to…

Full Yuri Panic!

Coming soon to a DVD player near you.


Regular St. Miator’s high school girl Tamao Chidori’s life is turned upside down on the arrival of a new transfer student Nagisa Sousuke, a rather ditzy foreign student who seems to be more interested in guns and military tactics than getting down to some good old yuri lovin’! But little is as it seems: Nagisa is actually an agent for a secret government organisation sent to protect Tamao from falling into enemy hands!

For little does Tamao-chan know that deep inside her lurks the secret “White Technology”, a collection of carnal knowledge so great that it even brings the Kama Sutra to its knees! But surprises are in store for the hapless young Nagisa as Tamao-chan has unwittingly used her carnal powers to become the year’s alpha lesbian and has her sights set on Nagisa as her next conquest!

Meanwhile, back on the secret stealth nuclear submarine, the Tuatha de Banane, Nagisa’s Commanding officer, Shizuma Testarossa, another holder of the “White Technology” is also out to sink her dainty claws into Nagisa’s tasty white unmentionables.

Will Nagisa be able to defend the White Technology from the grasping hands of the dreaded Gaogao? Will she ever notice that everyone on Astraea Hill is gay? Will she ever survive the year without being violently deflowered by one of Tamao’s famously fearsome collection of masturbatory implements? One thing’s for sure – she’ll never look at a cucumber in quite the same way ever again!

(apologies, this public computer doesn’t appear to have any image editing facilities at all…)

More awful punnage to come…

Finally catching up to my blog reading after a weeks break, I was rather amused by Hung’s post on 10 skeletons in his closet, the least of which was his massive backlog of anime. The thing that amused me most about it was that I was guilty of all of them except the “Not watching Mai HiME/Otome” ones…In fact, I’d go so far as to say most people were ^_^.

Anyway, most people who have watdched my blog any more than a few weeks will probably have noticed that I have a penchance for rather bad anime. However, I trawled through my archives to find ten anime that I am honoured ashamed to have thoroughly enjoyed. Warning though, reading this list may leave people with the resounding urge to slap me silly.

10. Uta~Kata

Actually, this one probably isn’t very controversial. What really amuses me about this, otherwise rather droll anime is the hundreds of people on teh intarweb trying to read meaning into the ending ^_^. Obviously the whole point of the anime is getting Ichika to cosplay in cute costumes and the tenuous subtext between Ichika and Manatsu. Is having sex with part of yourself just masturbation? You decide.

9. Maburaho

I wasn’t actually ashamed of liking this until Hung posted that the worst anime J.C.Staff have produced were Ikkitousen and Maburaho. Honestly, I rather enjoyed this series, mainly because at least they didn’t just go: “Oh, childhood friend, obviously she wins” or “Oh childhood friend, looks like you lose”. Wai for threesome ending ^_^. Also, Rin and Kuriko should then forget about Kazuki and go and explore their yuri desires. Just a thought.

8. Tsukiyomi Moon Phase

Well, the reasons for being ashamed of this show are many – the least of which being the spawning of “Nekomimi-mode” memes everywhere. I shall sum up why this anime rocks in an equation – Tsundere+loli+vampire+nekomimi = WIN. That is all.

7. I My Me! Strawberry Eggs!


Only in anime could a storyline about a teacher who becomes a transvestite to work at a girls school actually work. I mean, if you think about it in real life, when they discover at the end what he’s been doing, no one would have felt sorry for him. They would have hunted him down like a dog, beat him with sticks, put him on the “dangerous paedophile” list and emasculated him with a pair of bricks. Well, maybe not the last part (ouch).

6. Hanaukyo Maid Tai / Hanaukyo Maid Tai La Verite

Two words “Triplet maids”.

Would that be Trincest?

Also, over the top yuri lust between the security chief Konoe and her kouhai Sanae. The virtual reality scene in La verite – Hilarious. And she didn’t even need to say “Oneeeee-sammaaaaa!!”

5. Guardian Hearts

Now we’re definitely getting into fluff territory here ^_^. I have absolutely no idea why I like Guardian Hearts, except that the OP is good and it takes the piss out of magical girl shows. Oh,and Kotono is the greatest miko ever. Seriously.

4. Green Green

I can’t remember who in my anime society recommended this, but I have to remember to thank them. Actually, fanservice aside, Green green actually has an excellent plot. Just a plot that involves a lot of nudity. And female naked bodies rubbing against each other. And a baseball bat. Also, to get a real feel of the fanservice, you also have to watch the Character DVDs, which avoid “hentai” by a thousandth of a hairs breadth. Best character in it? Togemura san. A girl and her cactus – inseperable.

3. Onegai Twins

Actually, I was going to include Onegai teacher in here too, but I was told that actually, it’s ok to like Onegai Teacher. I love Onegai Twins just because of the hilarious plotline – Two girls are in love with you – you can only bang one of them, and its a 50/50 chance that it’s incest! Go go Incest-chan! Seriously though, the Japanese take incest far too lightly. There’s an awful lot of cousins falling in love in anime…that must be taking its toll on the anime gene pool. Pretty soon anime is going to be turning up with girls with 6 fingers or something. Though that would be pretty useful from a yuri point of view ^_^.

2. Popotan

Time travelling Christmas shop? Check. Busty Older sister? Check. Insecure middle sister in dubious relationship with best friend? Check. Precocious younger sister who has probably had more sex than the rest of the family combined? Check. Stoic, flat-chested maid? Check. What do you get? POPOTAN! Despite the fanservice (I seem to be saying that a lot) Popotan has really heartwarming storylines and I even cried a few times. I would even go so far as to say that it is one of my all-time favourites. Yes, I know its from a Hentai game. Yes, I know Mii is 10. Yes, I know Mai and Konami are rampant lesbians. Where fanservice and story meet – you get Popotan.

1. Ikkitousen

Yeah, you knew it was coming. I like Ikkitousen. *Runs away from mad crowd wielding torches and large wet fish* Because obviously, if your Ki protects your body, then powerful blows would only damage your clothes, right? Or maybe school uniforms in Japan are just particularly flimsy. Anyway, how can you not like an anime with a bondage obsessed leather clad eyepatch maid (Ryoumou)? Especially when she gets yuriraped by Ryofu Housen – one of the few actual lesbians in anime. Actually, I lie. The anime isn’t all that good. The manga, however, is great.

Honorable mentions:

Magical Canan – (The non hentai one) Actually, this anime is too bad even for me to bear. However, the other half loves it for no reason. Similarly, Nymphs of the Stratosphere (Magical Cloud Nymphs, as she likes to call them)

UG Ultimate Girls – Started well, but if they had removed UFO-man completely and just had Vivi and Silk have giant yurisex all over the city I think people wouldn’t have thought it was such a bad anime.

Amaenaideyo! – Interesting simply because of introducing a new fetish which I hadn’t heard of before – Huge eyebrows. Ew.

And now I run away in fear of apt retribution

Ix

Although I have spent the best part of today at home on my computer, the lack of my own computer (which still languishes in Leamington) has resulted in laziness and a short post. However, being home is not all bad, mainly because of the free food, but also because of the existance of the piano.

Now, just for the record, I am not a good pianist. At the age of 4 I was forced to start playing the piano by parents with big expectations (much the same as most people out there, I think), but I hated practicing. My fingers felt inflexible and mistakes took forever (or so it seemed) to iron out. and so at an early age after taking Grade 3 piano, I gave it up. I then went through a variety of other instruments and my poor piano sat gathering dust in the family home.

So you must be wondering – "If he gave up the piano, then why is he harping on about it now?"

Well, it's mostly because after leaving to go to university, I discovered that the piano was my favourite instrument out of all the ones I had tried. The reason being that it sounded so good on its own without any accompaniment and playing a song on it was so much more impressive than my clarinet, for example. However, I still lacked incentive to actually practice, since there were very few songs that I liked enough to devote enough of my time to retraining my fingers and practising for hours.

But then I found anime…and shortly afterwards, Josh's anime music sheet collection.

First, let me say that Josh is an absolute genius. For those of you not familiar with his work; basically, he takes anime themes, background music and songs, translates them to keyboard, records midis and sheet music and posts it on his website, at a rate of a few a week or so. Now this in itself is not unique, since there are more than a couple of sites out there that do similar things. However, Josh's transcribings are far more accurate and loyal to the source music than any other that I have sampled on the internet.

Currently, my piece of choice is Koi no Mikuru Densetsu from Asahina Mikuru no Bouken (Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu). To give you an idea of how good his transcriptions are – I have practised for at least 2 hours today on just the first page and a half of this piece, simply because it sounds damn cool and I really want to learn it.

My hat goes off to Josh for single handedly bringing me back to practicing the piano, and I actively urge anyone that reads this who has even the slightest bit of musical talent to visit his page, which I linked to above. The link is also in the sidebar.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go practise some more ^_^

Ix

PS Apologies for irrelevant picture, but I don't have any music related images on the computer and Danbooru is still down -_-.

On anti-recommendation (i.e. people begging me not to watch it) and on purchase and perusal of this month’s Megami magazine, I decided to download the LIME anime subs of Joshikousei ~Girls high~. Basically, in a word, I am impressed ^_^. Joshikousei is not only a shamelessly fanservice show, it also deals with aspects of fanservice that most anime companies would not touch with a 30 foot barge pole outside of hentai. And so appropriately, this post will not be a review post, I will merely be going over the many fetishes that Joshikousei covers in just its first 2 episodes.

Not only are there panty shots and surprise breast fondling galore, but within the first two episodes alone, we get naked aprons, oneesama bondage sex, girls on toilets, pubic hair (shock horror! ^_^), menstruation, and something even unheard of in harem anime – falling over into someone and ending up in a 69. Believe me, if you went around trying that in real life, chances of that happening are pretty much the same as all the women in the world suddenly deciding that they are gay and having a rampant orgy in my front room. Not that I have tried, obviously O_O.

Anyway, here is a list of some of the fetishes covered by Joshikousei ~Girls High~

Yuri rape

Sideboob

Naked apron

Marilyn Monroe impressions

Bondage

Losing virginities

Girls on the toilet

Surprise breast fondling

Unexpected yuri-sex

Menstruation

Pubic hair (ouchie, plucking pubic hair? No wonder anime girls are so smooth down below O_o)

Game references (well, it makes gamers happy “down there”, so technically its a fetish ^_^;)

In homage to this piece of fanservice art that has been bestowed upon me, I felt a need to make a panty shot collage from the first episode. In fact, there are twenty one distinct pantyshots in episode 1, most of which are in the first 10 minutes (three of them are in the unexpected sex collage above). Impressive.

In short, Joshikousei is hilarious, that is, if you like jokes like “Oh noes, I accidentally fell down the stairs and received cunnilingus from my classmate” or “Ahh! my urine pot is overflowing!”

Pure genius

Ix

The Return of the Geek

June 23, 2006

I return!

Just arrived back from Cambridge today, significantly less emo than when I left (Thank god) and perhaps regretting making that last post. I love all my Cambridge people equally, geek or not ^_^ (But geeks do have far more extensive manga collections to peruse). Anyway, I am at my true home in East London now and away from my real computer, which is back in Leamington Spa so this is just going to be a mini post about my hijinks in Cambridge, (which are vaguely yuri-relevant ^_^;;)

Firstly, I feel the need to recommend the town to everyone. Cambridge is great and I miss it sorely, and everyone should go; including the Americans that read this. Just don’t ask where the university is – that is a schoolboy error.

First day I got there we (other half was there too) went to Jesus Green to the Rock Society picnic, at which we had been informed that there would be lesbian jelly wrestling. I was somewhat skeptical that a) the mechanics (and staining possibilities) of jelly wrestling, b) the likelyhood of there being actual lesbians there and c) the likelihood of jelly wrestling actually taking place at all. However, having arrived, we soon discovered that Rocksoc not only had brought the paddling pool, but also had researched the exact type of jelly used in professional jelly wrestling – complete with risk assessment form >_<.

And the jelly wrestling did actually take place. With an appreciable amount of lesbians, I might add (though I believe most of them were dubbed temporary lesbian status for the duration of the picnic). And I beat my girlfriend and a drunk guy. Go me ^_^/

| It’s amazing what happens when you qcf+punch

| Aww…I love you too *huggles*

| “No girls! We’re trying to do the waltz here, not the foxtrot! Pay attention!”

| Me and the missus in “get a room” mode
So after that, I did lots of “stuff I always do in Cambridge” like going punting on the Cam, visiting various friendly types and staying with my previous anime society and losing atrociously at Guitar Hero. (Damn you James.) Then I went to June feast at my old college which was remarkably decadent (The port was 29 years old O_O)

And then I went home. And now I don’t have to touch medicine again for 2 months; WOOOO! Fantastic.

Basically, now I am happy. And I realised that I don’t actually have to write anything to get people to view my blog, since for some reason I got the most visits ever yesterday – when I hadn’t written anything for 6 days. Lol.

Ix

PS. AGH I FORGOT I HAVE A PROJECT TO DO OVER SUMMER DAMN DAMN DAMN -_-.