Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu: BEST END, BAD END

June 5, 2006

lolikitsune’s comments on Episode 8(I think) of Full Yuri Panic (Strawberry Panic) a few days ago got me thinking about what would happen if anime were made into ero-games and there were multiple endings you could get, from worst to best. So while on the bus home today, I sketched out what would happen in my universe for Haruhi Suzumiya no Yuuutsu’s Best and Bad ends… (The ones marked with * can be swapped from good to bad end depending on your tastes in the matter in question)


1. Haruhigasm H the Hentai OVA is announced to the joy and approval of fanboys everywhere.

2. Haruhi gets bored and decides that she is gay, which unwittingly results in the surfacing of long repressed girl/girl loving in the population and a decrease in the sales of Viagra.

*3. Kyon’s sister accidentally, tragically is horribly dismembered in an unfortunate encounter with a hedge trimmer.

*4. Itsuki is accidentally, tragically murdered in an incident involving an ice pick, a chainsaw, three nuns and Yuki’s entire book collection

5. Haruhi’s molestation of Mikuru suddenly escalates into full yuri rape, which results in Mikuru’s return to her future hot scientist self, who immediately falls in love with Haruhi. Hijinks ensue.

6. KyoAni finally realise that the episode shuffling was a BAD IDEA. In retribution, Season 2 is shown backwards a la Memento.

7. Lol-tan dies


*1. Haruhi gets into yaoi and orders Itsuki to instruct Kyon in the many ways of man-loving. itsuki obliges. Hijinks ensue.

2. Mikuru turns out to be a 40 year old fat, balding paedophile with a well stacked loli female avatar. THERE ARE NO GIRLS ON TEH INTARTIMEWEB – N00B.

*3. Kyon’s sister is repeatedly raped by all the characters in the show including the 50 year old History teacher and the talking cat.

4. KyoAni announces that the second season will be the full 15000 episodes long and they will be keeping the shuffling. (Cue – Haruhi: “Next time on Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu Episode 9473”. Kyon: “CHIGGGAAAAUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!”)

5. Every other episode is Yuki reading chapters from the book she is currently reading from her list of 100 favourite books, while soothing Japanese music plays in the background.

6. Lol-tan dies.




10 Responses to “Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu: BEST END, BAD END”

  1. Vud Says:

    The first picture was sweet. Second pictures….my eyes!

  2. Washi Says:

    I fucking lol’d.

    This has to be the funniest blog entry I’ve read in some time, and so it has my total approval. Actually I’ve been looking through your blog and I have to say I’m loving it!

    Blogs in General = Pretty good
    Yuri = Awesome

    Your blog = Pretty damn awesome.

  3. yuribou Says:

    Thanks Washi, you opinion means a lot to me ^_^, I’ll make more effort with the yuri commenting from now on then

  4. Pluto Says:

    Lovin’ the yaoi idea. Maybe you could start including that in with more of the yuri lol.

  5. LoL Says:

    Quite interesting…dam good post!

  6. Bush Says:

    Perfect site! Anything superfluous, all is laconic and beautiful. Thanks!

  7. Jade Motoko Says:

    Lmao! Best blog evah!
    I love your music analysis the best. You got it spot on, I’m in the middle of learning God Knows for a performance assessment at uni, and I have to do a write up. So that post has given me a great starting point.
    Keep it up.

  8. Aly Says:

    WOW OMG ewwwwww lol yay

  9. Aly Says:

    yuri is soooo hot i wish it was me so i could be in there T~T

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