Do you like guns and mechas? Do you like yuri? Do you like…err…panicking?Then this is the show for you! Look forward to…

Full Yuri Panic!

Coming soon to a DVD player near you.


Regular St. Miator’s high school girl Tamao Chidori’s life is turned upside down on the arrival of a new transfer student Nagisa Sousuke, a rather ditzy foreign student who seems to be more interested in guns and military tactics than getting down to some good old yuri lovin’! But little is as it seems: Nagisa is actually an agent for a secret government organisation sent to protect Tamao from falling into enemy hands!

For little does Tamao-chan know that deep inside her lurks the secret “White Technology”, a collection of carnal knowledge so great that it even brings the Kama Sutra to its knees! But surprises are in store for the hapless young Nagisa as Tamao-chan has unwittingly used her carnal powers to become the year’s alpha lesbian and has her sights set on Nagisa as her next conquest!

Meanwhile, back on the secret stealth nuclear submarine, the Tuatha de Banane, Nagisa’s Commanding officer, Shizuma Testarossa, another holder of the “White Technology” is also out to sink her dainty claws into Nagisa’s tasty white unmentionables.

Will Nagisa be able to defend the White Technology from the grasping hands of the dreaded Gaogao? Will she ever notice that everyone on Astraea Hill is gay? Will she ever survive the year without being violently deflowered by one of Tamao’s famously fearsome collection of masturbatory implements? One thing’s for sure – she’ll never look at a cucumber in quite the same way ever again!

(apologies, this public computer doesn’t appear to have any image editing facilities at all…)

More awful punnage to come…

(I’m beginning to wish my pictures were archived in a database for easy retrieval by character and type like danbooru -_-) Fluff post today, revising for tomorrow’s final exam. Perhaps serious-ish post tomorrow…if you’re lucky.

1 – Haruka Suzumiya and Haruhi Suzumiya (Mother and daughter)

Emo-lover Takayuki Narumi (Kimi ga Nozomu Eien) gets bored of Mitsuki throwing things at him and goes back to Haruka for one last night of passion. Unfortunately, Haruka gets knocked up, blackmails Takayuki for 100 million yen, sets up her own publishing company and becomes rich. Unfortunately, dabbling in research for new forms of nuclear fusion results in her baby being endowed with super god like powers. She names her Haruhi.

2. Tamaki Suou and Mikoto Suou (Brother and sister)

Tamaki lives it up as president of the Ouran High School host club, but little does he know that the person he sees in his twisted childhood memories is not his fiancee to be, but his long lost sister Mikoto, lovechild to his father before he got rich and married his mother. When Tamaki gets older, he meets Mikoto on a school field trip and immediately falls in love with her. Mikoto punches him in the solar plexus.

3. Kazuma Azuma and Hazuki Azuma (Same person in different universes)

Luckily, they cut out the episode of Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito where Hazuki visits the alternate universe where she is born a boy in in the back streets of Izu with an uncanny ability to make bread.

4. Teletha Testarossa and Fate Testarossa (Mother and daughter)

Having saved the world in Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha A’s, Fate marries Nanoha aboard the Asura on her 16th birthday and settles down with her on Earth. In an accident involving discovering unsavoury new uses for Bardische and Raging Heart in closed bedroom environments, Fate gets pregnant and has a baby which she named Tessa (in a fit of madness). However, during a routine job, the baby was lost through a dimensional dislocation and landed in 20th century America where she was brought up, her latent magical powers being mistaken for technological knowledge. Currently she lives blissfully unaware that she could just say the word and transform into a mahou shoujo in a omega-kawaii bunny suit.

5. Akane Higurashi and Higurashi no naku koro ni (err…)

Erm. Actually, no.

To celebrate my getting to a month (yeah, I know, its not long, but sticking with a project of mine to a month is a pretty good acheivement for me), I present the Yuri to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito yuri underdogs top 10. I have to apologise beforehand, since I started out writing them funny (I use the term loosely, of course), but then they went soppy. So I’ll post 10-6 in this post, and 5-1 (the soppy ones) tomorrow, so people can skip them more easily.

Anyway, this Top 10 is for the yuri couples that I feel have been pushed aside, storyline-wise for a main couple of a series, and then slowly fallen out of favour and ended unsatisfactorily (or not given an ending at all -_-;;).

However, to make it into the top 10, a couple had to actually have some subtext in the anime, therefore neatly ruling out most of my favourite couples; for example, Haruka/Mitsuki (Kiminozo) and Evangeline/Chachamaru (Negima) to name but a few. (But anyway, they’ll get included later when I do an Imaginary couples yuri top 10

Without further ado then, I introduce:

The Yuribou Yuri Underdogs Top 10!

10. Tessa/Mao (Full Metal Panic!) underdog to Chidori/Sousuke

Yeah, I know its sub-sub-subtext, but any yuri involving Tessa is manna from heaven in my opinion. The entire fandom is based on Tessa and Mao’s competition and post competition hug in episode 13. Which was hot. And also the 10 millisecond shot of Mao abusing a drunk Tessa in the OVA. Which was also hot. And let’s face it, who doesn’t want to think that the prim and proper captain of the Tuatha de Danaan enjoys yuribeating her subordinates in her spare time?

My guess is that she would be into Japanese bondage.

9. Kaede/Primula (SHUFFLE!) underdog to Rin/Asa, Rin/Everyone


Kaede: Rin, you love Asa more than me, don’t you, even though I climbed into bed naked and offered myself to you.
Rin: Yes
Kaede: Oh well. Rim-chan, let’s go and have hot yuri sex instead then.
Primula: OK.
Hijinks ensue

8. Fate/Arf (Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha) underdog to Fate/Nanoha

 

Well, lets face it, Fate is gayer than a Pentecostal church congregation at Christmas mass. But where did she get all her experience from and at such a young age? Well, that long rough doggy tongue of Arf’s has to be useful for something, doesn’t it…

Feito chan!!!! Iku!!

*ahem* Ignore that last bit.

7. Shimako/Noriko (Maria sama ga Miteru) underdog to Sachiko/Yumi, Sei/Shiori

Noriko: I love you Oneesama!
Shimako: I love you too, Noriko-chan, here, I’ll make you my en-bouton.
Noriko: Wait, oneesama! Watch out for that pit of obscurity!
Shimako: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Shimako fell into the pit of obscurityGAME OVER

6. Chie/Aoi (Mai HiME/Otome) underdog to Mai/Yuuichi/Shiho, Shizuru/Natsuki.


Well, lesbians who are actually together are less interesting than infatuated Kyoto-ben kimono-clad evil-yuri chasing tsundere biker chicks, aren’t they? Well, Sunrise seems to think so. Anyway, they were a lot cuter in Mai Otome; at least Chie won’t have to worry about losing her right to be an Otome in the near future, eh?

Second installment tomorrow

Tanoshimi ni

Ix

PS Sorry about the crappy pictures, its the best I can do for the moment. Update with nicer pics when I am home.

Gah, I still can’t find a nice picture of Chie and Aoi. FAIL.

Just a quick post about Full Metal Panic the OVA, which, funnily enough, I didn't even know was out O_o. So, completely uninformed, I found it on Tokyo Toshokan and downloaded it last night and watched it this morning. Oh how I was reminded about the greatness of the series, especially Fumoffu (The OVA is a slight cross between Fumoffu and the main series – i.e. hijinks aboard the Tuatha de Danaan). But most of all – DRUNK TESSA FANSERVICE \^_^/

Mmm, tiny ribbon bow pantsu…

Not only that, but Tessa is the cutest thing EVER through the whole episode. Its like they told her seiyuu to put on her extra moemoe loli voice (with extra "datte…."). Why Sousuke didn't end up with her instead of baseball bat wielding tsundere Chidori is beyond my imagination.

All the other plotlines in this OVA were hilarious too. Kalinin's chemistry cooking with his pH dipstick and stopwatch made me laugh (and thats not an easy thing to do at 8am on a Sunday) and Commander Grouseaux's secret otaku side was inspired ^_^.

I'm sure pH dipsticks don't work on Borscht

All in all, we need more Full Metal Panic! tidbits like this remind me about what a great series it was, but there's nothing better than watching a brand new storyline's worth of the real thing.

Anxiously waiting for "Full Metal Panic: Fumoffu – The Second Raid" possibly with Tessa/Chidori yuri love.

Ix