‘Lo everyone, it’s been a while ^_^. My computer is all fixed and lovely, so I thought I would get up out of my bed of laze and do something imaginative for once…

So I wrote a short fic about one of my favourite alternative pairings, Evangeline and Chachamaru from Negima. Its pretty short, so it probably borders on relationship crack (short storyline-less fragments of story about relationships) rather than an actual fiction.

Since people seem to object to me posting “Not Safe for Work” material on my main page, I have placed the fiction on a separate page which you should be able to see in the sidebar to the right…

If you can’t, then the link is here.

Please leave some comments, good or bad ^_^. I might well extend it to a few more parts if I can be bothered and am struck by a few more particles of inspiration. Also working on a script for my take on a Strawberry Panic H-Game, though I think that may not see the light of day O_o.

Tell me what you think people. (If enough of you have stuck with my site through the many days of non-posting, that is…)

Although specifically, I wrote this before I saw the episodes I commented on last post, its still kinda relevant. I thought that since Strawberry Panic is pretty much softcore hentai, what if they were making such a drama here, on this side of the Pacific? The result might have gone something like this…

TITLE – ICHIGOSHA GIRLS GONE WILD

CAST:

Suzumi TAMAO – A yuri nymphomaniac with a huge crush on NAGISA. Plays the flute.
Aoi NAGISA – A young freshman inexperienced in the ways of love.
Hanazono SHIZUMA – The hardy old dormitory handyman who’s secretly a beautiful woman in disguise
Konohana HIKARI – An innocent young lady who steadfastly refuses to admit that she is gay
Nanto YAYA – HIKARI’S childhood friend who has a huge crush on her. Though they have done the horizontal ditty, HIKARI refuses to admit that they are together.

SCENE 1

Ichigo-sha dormitory, DAY. All the usual furniture present in a student dormitory is absent, save for a large HEART SHAPED BED that dominates the room. In the corner there is a FLIMSY DESK with some of TAMAO’S PORN on it.

Enter TAMAO and NAGISA.

NAGISA: Ah! Tanoshikatta! That music lesson was so fun, wasn’t it Tamao-chan?

TAMAO: It certainly was, Nagisa-chan! but it would have been much less fun had Nagisa-chan not been there to see me play!

NAGISA: And I didn’t know that you could play the flute so well!

TAMAO laughs sweetly

TAMAO: By the way, Nagisa-chan, how are you feeling after running that marathon yesterday?

NAGISA: Actually, I’m feeling quite stiff! My muscles feel all tense and knotty.

NAGISA rubs her lower back and groans

TAMAO: Of course I would be happy to give you a massage, Nagisa-chan! Just take off all your clothes and lie back on the bed and relax.

NAGISA: All my clothes?

TAMAO: Of course, silly! How am I supposed to give you a proper massage through those thick clothes of yours?

NAGISA:(sweatdrops) Uhh, OK, Tamao-chan…

NAGISA disrobes and lies down on the HEART SHAPED BED. TAMAO removes a bottle of LUBRICANT from the desk drawer.

NAGISA: Uh…what’s that, Tamao-chan?

TAMAO quickly hides the bottle from view

TAMAO: It’s massage oil, Nagisa-chan! Massage oil!

NAGISA: But I thought I read “Mango flav…”

TAMAO: (interrupts) Don’t worry about that Nagisa-chan, you’re making your muscles more tense! Just lie back and relax, ne?

NAGISA: (hesitant)…OK

TAMAO starts to spread LUBRICANT over NAGISA’S back and thighs.

NAGISA: Ooh, that oil feels good, Tamao-chan! I can feel my aches melting away already!

TAMAO’S hands slip down to NAGISA’S NAUGHTY BITS

NAGISA: Ahh! Ohh! Tamao-chan! What are you doing? It’s dirty down there! Ahh! But it feels so good!

TAMAO: (giggles) I’ll make you feel much better, Nagisa-chan!

TAMAO glomps NAGISA. HIJINKS ensue

SFX: Knock on Door

TAMAO looks up. She has what appears to be a MILK MOUSTACHE. NAGISA is comatose.

SFX: Laughter

TAMAO: Come in!

Door opens. Enter SHIZUMA dressed in DUNGAREES and carrying a TOOLKIT. She has a large FAKE MOUSTACHE.

SHIZUMA: (noticing comatose NAGISA) Oh, I’m sorry, did I come at a bad time?

TAMAO: No! Not at all! What can I help you with?

SHIZUMA: I just came to fix your fridge, but it appears that someone has removed all the tools from my toolkit and replaced them with a variety of sex toys.

TAMAO: That’s no problem at all! In fact, we don’t even have a fridge!

TAMAO glomps SHIZUMA. More HIJINKS ensue. Sometime during the proceedings, SHIZUMA’S FALSE MOUSTACHE falls off.

Enter HIKARI. TAMAO and SHIZUMA are still doing the HORIZONTAL CHA-CHA on the bed next to a comatose NAGISA. HIKARI is wearing a SUKUMIZU.

HIKARI: Hi guys! We’re here for the usual tea party. ZOMG! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!

TAMAO and SHIZUMA don’t look up. HIKARI looks horrified and takes a step back. Enter YAYA wearing a skimpy POSTAGE STAMP SIZED BIKINI.

YAYA sweatdrops.

HIKARI: But ahh! Watching them makes me feel warm and tingly inside! Am I perverted Yaya-chan?

YAYA: (seizing her chance) No, Hikari-chan! It’s perfectly normal for a girl’s tnogue to be up another girl’s ass like that! And incidentally, I have always loved you!

HIKARI: Oh Yaya-chan! I love you too!

More Glompage. Yet more HIJINKS ensue.

CUT TO: Ichigo-sha dormitory, EVENING. SHIZUMA, TAMAO, HIKARI and NAGISA (who is now awake and wondering where all the other naked girls came from) are lying in the HEART SHAPED BED. TAMAO is smoking a POST-COITAL CIGARETTE. SHIZUMA is still comatose. YAYA is flicking through TAMAO’S PORN.

NAGISA: (to HIKARI). You know, I never thought it could feel so good…you know, with another girl!

FADE TO BLACK

SCENE 1 END

TSUZUKU

Please direct any flames towards the comments box. Have a nice day!

(I’m beginning to wish my pictures were archived in a database for easy retrieval by character and type like danbooru -_-) Fluff post today, revising for tomorrow’s final exam. Perhaps serious-ish post tomorrow…if you’re lucky.

1 – Haruka Suzumiya and Haruhi Suzumiya (Mother and daughter)

Emo-lover Takayuki Narumi (Kimi ga Nozomu Eien) gets bored of Mitsuki throwing things at him and goes back to Haruka for one last night of passion. Unfortunately, Haruka gets knocked up, blackmails Takayuki for 100 million yen, sets up her own publishing company and becomes rich. Unfortunately, dabbling in research for new forms of nuclear fusion results in her baby being endowed with super god like powers. She names her Haruhi.

2. Tamaki Suou and Mikoto Suou (Brother and sister)

Tamaki lives it up as president of the Ouran High School host club, but little does he know that the person he sees in his twisted childhood memories is not his fiancee to be, but his long lost sister Mikoto, lovechild to his father before he got rich and married his mother. When Tamaki gets older, he meets Mikoto on a school field trip and immediately falls in love with her. Mikoto punches him in the solar plexus.

3. Kazuma Azuma and Hazuki Azuma (Same person in different universes)

Luckily, they cut out the episode of Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito where Hazuki visits the alternate universe where she is born a boy in in the back streets of Izu with an uncanny ability to make bread.

4. Teletha Testarossa and Fate Testarossa (Mother and daughter)

Having saved the world in Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha A’s, Fate marries Nanoha aboard the Asura on her 16th birthday and settles down with her on Earth. In an accident involving discovering unsavoury new uses for Bardische and Raging Heart in closed bedroom environments, Fate gets pregnant and has a baby which she named Tessa (in a fit of madness). However, during a routine job, the baby was lost through a dimensional dislocation and landed in 20th century America where she was brought up, her latent magical powers being mistaken for technological knowledge. Currently she lives blissfully unaware that she could just say the word and transform into a mahou shoujo in a omega-kawaii bunny suit.

5. Akane Higurashi and Higurashi no naku koro ni (err…)

Erm. Actually, no.

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lolikitsune’s comments on Episode 8(I think) of Full Yuri Panic (Strawberry Panic) a few days ago got me thinking about what would happen if anime were made into ero-games and there were multiple endings you could get, from worst to best. So while on the bus home today, I sketched out what would happen in my universe for Haruhi Suzumiya no Yuuutsu’s Best and Bad ends… (The ones marked with * can be swapped from good to bad end depending on your tastes in the matter in question)

BEST END

1. Haruhigasm H the Hentai OVA is announced to the joy and approval of fanboys everywhere.

2. Haruhi gets bored and decides that she is gay, which unwittingly results in the surfacing of long repressed girl/girl loving in the population and a decrease in the sales of Viagra.

*3. Kyon’s sister accidentally, tragically is horribly dismembered in an unfortunate encounter with a hedge trimmer.

*4. Itsuki is accidentally, tragically murdered in an incident involving an ice pick, a chainsaw, three nuns and Yuki’s entire book collection

5. Haruhi’s molestation of Mikuru suddenly escalates into full yuri rape, which results in Mikuru’s return to her future hot scientist self, who immediately falls in love with Haruhi. Hijinks ensue.

6. KyoAni finally realise that the episode shuffling was a BAD IDEA. In retribution, Season 2 is shown backwards a la Memento.

7. Lol-tan dies

BAD END

*1. Haruhi gets into yaoi and orders Itsuki to instruct Kyon in the many ways of man-loving. itsuki obliges. Hijinks ensue.

2. Mikuru turns out to be a 40 year old fat, balding paedophile with a well stacked loli female avatar. THERE ARE NO GIRLS ON TEH INTARTIMEWEB – N00B.

*3. Kyon’s sister is repeatedly raped by all the characters in the show including the 50 year old History teacher and the talking cat.

4. KyoAni announces that the second season will be the full 15000 episodes long and they will be keeping the shuffling. (Cue – Haruhi: “Next time on Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu Episode 9473”. Kyon: “CHIGGGAAAAUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!”)

5. Every other episode is Yuki reading chapters from the book she is currently reading from her list of 100 favourite books, while soothing Japanese music plays in the background.

6. Lol-tan dies.

Additions?

Ix

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Reading “Anime on my mind” this week, it came to my attention that a second shamelessly yuri anime was being shown this season: Simoun, so I downloaded the Doremi fansubs and watched the first few episodes…here’s what I thought – Not only do the characters fly around in things that look like Disc Doctors, all the ship designs and things look far too much like they were taken straight out of LAST EXILE. I mean, the Craftsmen’s nations ships, you can’t tell me they don’t look like vanships. And the Simouns look remarkably like those white thingys that Dio and Co. fly around in (sorry about my crap knowledge, EXILE fans)

But the similarity does stop there, thankfully. The entire thing is (rather shakily) based around a race that are born as women and choose their gender when they get to the age of 19, though they lose the ability to blow up hundreds of enemy ships at once while shouting stupid technique names like “SHARK REMERGION!”. And also, for some reason, being able to pilot one of the ships requires the 2 pilots to kiss beforehand, so changing gender results in a great reduction in creamy yuri goodness.

So you can see already that this anime is going to be filled with gallons and gallons of pseudo-lesbian tongue wrestling and shoujo ai relationships until one of the two goes to the spring, becomes a man and shafts the poor other girl senseless with his newly gained manhood (actually I think they didn’t film the last bit)

Despite this excellent premise, the Craftsman’s (I assume they’re all women too, so shouldn’t “Craftswomen’s” be more appropriate?) Nation seems to have little going for it, except having its ships and people blown up repeatedly by, like, 1 enemy craft and the wonderful voice of Mamiko Noto voicing someone we haven’t even met yet. If the anime doesn’t go into a bit more detail about them and we see both sides, it will be extremely disappointing. A bit of Romeo and Juliet cross-sides loving is due here I think…

 

So how does it compare to the other great yuri anime of this season – Strawberry Panic?(Or Full Yuri Panic! as I have otherwise named it)

Lets compare!

  1. Outrageously thinly veiled lesbian subtext Vs. Frankly pornographic amount of girl-girl tongue fencing

Vs.

 


Simoun obviously wins on the yuri-snogging count, but does it beat the cute one-sided longings of Tamao and Yaya-chan and the first girl-love of Hikari and Amane-sama? Especially episode 8 of FYP! when Tamao chased Nagisa round all episode to share an umbrella and Shizuma complained that her umbrella was too big…

Answer: Full Yuri Panic! WIN, 5 points! Although I do love the girl on girl action in Simoun, it lacks resultant storyline to back it up. For FYP! to spend an entire episode on the love shared beneath an umbrella is bold and pretty funny. And Yaya/Hikari is shaping up to be my favourite underdog pairing ever.

2. Cookie eating loli Vs. Slightly mad plush bear obsessed loli.

 


I have to admit, the loli with the plush bear in FYP! did scare me a bit…Isn’t Astraea only secondary school and above, meaning that she is at least 11 and still kookily weird for her age? *shivers* On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with the loli in Simoun (Except that she’s possibly said one word in 2 episodes) Also, she has Ichijou Karen hair (of School Rumble fame).

Answer: Simoun WIN, 5 points! Stoic snacking loli beats scary bear confiding loli

3. Two best friends and a tsundere Vs. Emo girl, genki girl and rampant lesbian

Vs.

 


How does the Yaya-Hikari-Tsubomi triangle shape up to Neville the emo girl and her Pair Amuria(who is obviously rampantly gay) and the new girl Aeru who (thank god) chooses blowing things up over becoming a man. Obviously I am pre-biased to vote for the Yaya-Hikari-Tsubomi fiasco, since I am a massive Yaya fan, but since Simoun hasn’t had enough time to develop its storyline and since there has already been three comsummate kisses in their love triangle, they need some weight too…there’s still room for some rampant lesbian shower sex there too.

Answer: FYP! 3 points, Simoun, 2 points (for potential)

4. Bonus Points

 

Erii (Simoun) -2 points for becoming a man (NOT HOT)


Chikaru (FYP!) +2 points for being ULTRA DETECTIVE COSPLAY HAWT

 

FINAL RESULT: Full Yuri Panic!: 10 points, Simoun, 5 points

STRAWBERRY PANIC WIN!

Undoubtedly, at this early stage, Strawberry Panic provides far more yuri excitement than Simoun, for, although it does lack girls indulging in Sapphic desires around every corner; it does have Yaya-chan. And Yaya > all.

Ix

PS. Damn I wish that I could do “Excerpts”, ‘cept this theme doesn’t support it and its the only one on WordPress.com that I actually like. Oh well, people will have to be stuck reading my whole articles until I actually bother to find some server space then ^_^