God its been a long time since I did one of these, hasn’t it ^_^. Actually, I’ve been avoiding it, since I know that eventually I’m going to run out of pairings, or, more importantly, good fanfiction to recommend. If anyone has any pairings that they would like covered, then please leave your mark in the comments box below.

Anyway, on with the show…ahem…article. Battle Athletes’ Victory and its OVA predecessor Battle Athletes are one of the true yuri source anime and a classic to boot. Back in the old days when it wasn’t a rule that all anime should involve a high school cam Battle Athletes, an anime that did not hide its yuri tendencies in subtext, oh no. If you’re going to imply girl/girl loving, then why not go all the way?

This kind of pioneering spirit seems to have been lost today, with heavy “subtext-so-sub-its-almost-not-there” yuri storylines (Marimite being prime example). Are we to believe that these girls who are so touchy feely with each other and who care about each other that much are not also practising for the world tribadism championships behind our backs? Only the appearance of Strawberry Panic can serve to show that the canon yuri relationship has not truly been lost between CG animation, Mikuru’s rather ample cleavage and 5 litres of creme caramel.

My favourite relationship for this series is the first relationship that I fell in love with – Akari, the main character, and Ichino, her best friend and tsukkomi extraordinaire. As if making fun of what I just said above, Ichino and Akari’s relationship starts off very subtext and it almost looks like it is going to end up yet another “Kaorinesque” unrequited damp squib. However, in Episode 10 or so, we get the confession.

For those of you not aware of “the confession“, it is a common anime device that is very rarely used in yuri relationships. The effect when used is always to make the yuri fan’s hopes for the relationship to soar only to be quashed in an instant. The confession in yuri anime usually goes something like this:

A: (thinks) Arg, she’s going away, like forever and ever and ever! If I don’t tell her I love her now then I’ll never see her again!

B: What is it, A-chan? You look funny.

A: (mustering all courage evar) I..I…I Love You!!

B: I love you to, A-chan, you’ll always be my best friend, even when I’m billions of miles away and we’ll never see each other again.

A: Err…yeah…friends.

BAD END.

Guess what happens in BAV. Don’t send your answers in on a postcard, there’s no prizes -_-. I’ll give you a clue…It’s not this:

Anyway, Akari goes off to try and become Cosmo Beauty and she meets Kris, the other yuri love interest, carried over from the OVA. Kris is a great character, especially since she owns a cow, but I’ve always found that her advances toward Akari were a bit vulgar and spoiled the potential that the relationship had to offer. However, on the flip side, the relationship is extremely amusing and a good comedy counterpoint to the Akari/Ichino angst-driven relationship of the first half of the series.

And so the final arc of the series sees the two: Kris “I can feel you nside me, Akari” Christopher and Ichino “The tsundere childhood friend love interest” Yanagida face off for Akari’s affections and thankfully, Ichino gets another chance, and for that I actually liked the rather aspartame ending. The basic problem with it that the writers never really sorted out was that Akari probably-isn’t-gay. Oh well; some threesome yurirape will probably sort that out ^_^.

Anyway, fanfiction-wise, for such an old show with multiple canon pairings, there is relatively little english fanfiction written for Battle Athletes. Paradoxically, there are quite a few fictions written for Kris/Ichino hanging by the thin canon thread that competitors must also be clam-jousters. I am not very enamoured by these. A lot of fanfiction also covers the other side characters in Battle Athletes, the best one of which I should mention.

Pariah by Vosburg deals with the relationship between Mylandah and Lahrri, one of the subtextual couples in the show and takes the “future” storyline and executes it with unerring grace.

Another recommendable fanfiction is Revelations in the moonlight, by SailorDoc, the only objectionable feature of which is that it deals with Akari/Kris rather than the far more kawaii Akari/Ichino. Poor Ichino. She really doesn’t get a look in edgeways. And poor Akari, she keeps getting killed off by those violent Ichino/Kris ‘shippers. Akari/Ichino is a pairing I’ve always vowed to get round to writing, but then, my fanfiction sucks, so its probably a good thing I never got round to it.

And so there we have it. Another one of my favourite pairings with only a smattering of fanfiction to prove its existence. Write more people. Write more and better.

 

‘Lo everyone, it’s been a while ^_^. My computer is all fixed and lovely, so I thought I would get up out of my bed of laze and do something imaginative for once…

So I wrote a short fic about one of my favourite alternative pairings, Evangeline and Chachamaru from Negima. Its pretty short, so it probably borders on relationship crack (short storyline-less fragments of story about relationships) rather than an actual fiction.

Since people seem to object to me posting “Not Safe for Work” material on my main page, I have placed the fiction on a separate page which you should be able to see in the sidebar to the right…

If you can’t, then the link is here.

Please leave some comments, good or bad ^_^. I might well extend it to a few more parts if I can be bothered and am struck by a few more particles of inspiration. Also working on a script for my take on a Strawberry Panic H-Game, though I think that may not see the light of day O_o.

Tell me what you think people. (If enough of you have stuck with my site through the many days of non-posting, that is…)

Now everyonewho reads here will know that I have an extremely bad taste in anime (c.f. 10 anime I am ashamed to have watched), for instance, I have watched all the episodes and specials of Love Hina O_o). Usually, though, when I start to watch a series, I tend to stick to the end. I mean, I watched all 26 episodes of NGE for crying out loud. I also braved all 52 episodes of Full Moon wo Sagashite and all of the awful third series of Cardcaptor Sakura. However, midway through watching some anime, I sometimes get so bored with it moving through plot points that I give up, or I felt that they were just so mediocre that I forgot that I was even watching them and forgot to watch the end.

For extremely bad series such as UG: Ultimate Girls, this perhaps is an acceptable, nay common practise. However, for me this also tends to overflow into the domain of what is considered “classic anime” and it raises a few eyebrows.

Have your flamewars at the ready for a list that would cause instant ostracisation from any respectable anime society in the land…O_o

Cowboy Bebop – Episodes watched – 22

| Because Faye is hot
This is probably the big one. For some reason, I never really got into Cowboy Bebop and I found myself watching them just out of curiosity about why it was branded as such a classic anime. Somewhere around episode 22 I forgot I was watching it and I never touched the series again >_<. Although the characters were engaging, I found the story rather slow, disjointed and episodic rather than the long running arcs that I am used to following, and so I often got lost as to what was actually happening in the series. I think there are some people shouting “BLASPHEMY!!!” over there, so I must run…….

Air – Episodes watched – 6

I went through this already here. Although I braved the entire series of Kanon which I thought was rather mediocre itself, I was only able to stomach 6 episodes, although I have been reliably informed that things actually happen in the latter half of the series.

I believe Air was suffering from what I will call “Sunrise syndrome” that so afflicted Mai HiME and Mai Otome. If you spend the first half of the series introducing the characters andfluffing around and put all the exciting stuff in the last half, then you will lose some of your audience before the exciting stuff starts. Also, it gets harder to pack all the necessary story into the latter half and things start getting left out. However, in contrast, the fluff episodes in Air were dull, which is what put me off the series.

Sailor Moon S – Episodes watched – 1

Actually, this should probably go on my “Anime I can’t watch without tearing my eyes out” list. I got introduced to Sailor Moon S as a classic (and possibly the first) yuri anime. However, after one episode, it was clear that I would not be able to stand the stereotypical “monster comes, fight it, end of episode” style that so plagues mahou shoujo anime of that era. Also, I was not keen on the art style and so gave up, which is a shame, because I wanted to see Uranus and Neptune get it on. Oh well.

Mahou Tsukai ni Taisetsu no koto – Episodes Watched – 4

This used to be a “dinner anime” for me and the other half (to watch while eating dinner, of course), but was quickly replaced by Speed Grapher. I think we both agree that it’s trying too hard and has ended up cute but dull.

Shoujo Kakumei Utena – Episodes watched – 1/2

This one is kinda similar to Sailor Moon S – Since it was a classic yuri anime, I was trying to watch it and…actually, thinking about it, I got interrupted in the first episode and then never picked it up after that, so it might still be good. However, it is very long, so I’ll have to wait till there is a lull in “good” current season anime to watch it ^_^

FLCL – Episodes watched – 3

Even though FLCL is only 6 episodes long, I have failed to finish it -_-. Although some would also consider this blasphemy, I have to make it clear first that I despise Gainax. Although they make acclaimed animes, they almost always spoil them by “Going Gainax”, i.e. ending with some artsy bullshit that’s so confusing that you wonder whether you’re satisfied or not. Well, I’ll tell you the answer: You aren’t. Nothing got resolved! Ever! The only really notable exception to this rule is probably Mahoromatic which sort of had a proper ending with Gainaxy edges.

FLCL is pretty much the embodiment of Gainax endings in an OAV, and I just got so unbelievably confused that I couldn’t really be bothered to watch the end. End of Story.

Samurai Champloo – Episodes watched – 5

Actually, since I left Samurai Champloo, I have wanted to go back and finish it, but there’s always been better fluffy anime to watch at the same time, so I’ve never really bothered. The best way of describing the series is “Cowboy Bebop, with katana”, so I guess I’m afraid that it’ll turn out the same way. Might well get back round to watching though…

Ghost in the Shell – Stand Alone Complex – Episodes Watched – 1

To the chagrin of Adam, a friend of my girlfriend, who is heavily into Ghost in the Shell, I’m not really that keen on the series. I can’t really place exactly why I can’t get interested in it. Maybe I just need encouragement from commenters swearing that the series is awesome. Come on people!

Any mecha series ever – Episodes watched – 0

Cause mecha sucks.

PS. Actually, that’s a lie. I did watch all of Kannazuki no Miko and NGE.

| Is guro really that hot? The Japanese think so!

I was reading the paper on the way to work today, and it came to my attention that the paedo-politicians in the Netherlands that Lolitron blogged about a few months ago have not been overruled by the courts, and they have been allowed to run as a political party. Luckily for the Dutch children, they only have three members and one is unlikely to gain support, as he is a convicted child molester. However, it got me thinking about something that had been bugging me for a while now about the content of anime (both in the non-adult and adult industries) as opposed to say, the American adult film industry.

For instance, in the Toppest 10 hentai anime review in Oniichan no ecchi a while back, the top few contain at least violent rape and bondage, with some scattered tentacles, enemas, scat and guro thrown in for good measure (c.f. Bible Black O_o)

| Is loli twincest really that hot? THE INTARWEB THINKS SO!

Also, even in mainstream anime, even though I blog about it in a rather blase fashion, lolicon and yuri are rife without anyone really so much as batting an eyelid (Well, except Mimei Sakamoto, anyway O_o). But on mainstream Japanese TV, full though it is with dubious JDramas and rivetting quiz shows, these themes are completely and mysteriously absent.

In British TV, for example, any shows with lesbian or gay relationships are to be celebrated as a great step forward in television history (unless they really are very bad, c.f. Queer as Folk), with the currently running Sugar Rush (Channel 4), and the BBC Production of “Tipping the velvet” as prime examples. But in no way is this mainstream.

In the Western adult industry, although lesbian themes are relatively mainstream, any fetishes to do with bodily fluids such as scat are considered very niche, and violent rape and guro are more or less underground.

I guess the main point of this short editorial is a question: Are the Japanese really that perverted that they need these things so close to the public eye? I sure as hell don’t want to see scat in any porn I watch, and guro? Who watches that kind of thing? *shudders*

| Is crab bestiality really th….oh you get the idea -_-

My theory is that in contrast to their inoffensive, vanilla-flavoured pre watershed TV, everything post-watershed and on DVD is shifted up in acceptability terms by a notch. What I mean by this is that general nudity (fanservice) and lesbian (yuri) themes become commonplace, whereas violence and extreme sexual practises become borderline acceptable.

Of course, the fact that it ISN’T REAL helps a lot ^_^

Basically, I can see that a lot of anime (especially the shows that I like) seems to be comparable to what gets shown on Channel 5 post watershed (Digikerot might know what I mean by that). And beneath the polite honourable shell of Japanese men and women is a sexual deviant clamouring to get out.

And I haven’t even started talking about the incest O_o


I really love the Japanese phrase itsumo naka ni iru kara – “Because you’ll always be in my heart.” cause it’s so overused in anime and manga. Also, in literal English, itmeans “Because you’ll always be inside me” which has naughty connotations.

If you’re wondering why this is at all relevant, it’s taken from episode 12 of Kasimasi, the [KnKF-Doremi] subs of which I recently finished downloading. And since I rewatched Episode 12 to try and remember the ending, I thought I’d do a mini wrapup on it. Kasimasi is not a masterpiece by any means. Take any old slice of life romance between a boy, girl and childhood friend, remove the boy and replace with a cute girl and there you have Kasimasi.
Now if anyone actually reads my fanafiction recomendations, you will see that I am particularly interested in certain kinds of storylines. Mainly ones involving loving relationships and tons of good old angst. Though yurirape does have its place (Go Yaya-chan! Sugoi! Kakoii!), I prefer slightly more realistic storylines (if you can count being turned into a girl by aliens realistic O_o)

So anyway, Kasimasi fits the bill as a story that I would read, except in animated or mangalated form! For those of you that don’t want spoilers and don’t know what I’m talking about, let me sum up the storyline in one paragraph:

Boy loves girl (and plants). Childhood friend of boy also inevitably in love with boy. Boy gets turned into girl. Yuri hijinks ensue. Series heads to conclusion, so random plot point is required. Boy has to decide between the two girls. Angst-o-meter rises. Yuribou is happy.

Obviously on the way there is a lot of yuri fluid swapping, which I suppose does good for the ratings, but for me, it helps fill the angst-o-meter, which, I think makes the show. The part at the end where Tomari can’t quite let Hazumu go is really touching and makes me fuzzy inside. I am a total wuss.

However, after a whole series, I have become a big fan of Tomari (Eri-clone), and less of Yasuna (Tomoyo-clone), but I have absolutely no idea what part Ayuki is supposed to be playing in the whole thing (though she does have a fan club, so that must count for something. I think Hung is a big Ayuki supporter), though she is quite angstcute in the last episode, so I guess I’ll let it go.

Oh, did I mention that the soundtrack was win? Thanks be to Josh for transcribing some of the background music for piano.

Ending-wise, I think that the anime plot twist is far inferior (though makes far more sense) than the manga plot twist. I mainly prefer the manga one, since in the anime you can see which girls Hazumu is going to choose from a mile off (Though that last 5 seconds!! WTF!?! They’d better do an OVA now or I am suing someone -_-). The manga one, in comparison seems literally built for maximum angst.

Will Hazumu choose a girl in time?!? Will she get the harem ending?!? Will Dynasty Scans ever bring out the next chapter?!? And so on and so forth.

In essence, Kasimasi ~Girl makes all her friends gay~ always was going to be a “me” series, and has delivered what I expected of it with enough flair to satisfy. Good old fashioned yuri-lovin sandwiched between thick slices of Angst-o-bread and twintails on the side. Pure win, with only half the calories.

/me is eagerly awaiting more manga. Someone in Dynasty needs to be bribed ^_^.

Edit: Lol, my counter has crashed ^_^ It says that 60000 people visited Yuribou today…Somehow, I don’t think that’s really possible O_O

Thanks to Simoun Fans (and potentially SimounProject, if this download finishes anytime this millennium), I have finally been watching Simoun further than episode 3 (as far as Doremi have been bothered to sub). Simoun had started late this season as one of my “yuri anime to watch” (but with uncomfortable “turning into man” themes). However, the yuri kind of subsided in Episodes 2 and 3, leaving me wondering if there was going to be any kind of storyline *horrified gasp* to fill the gap.

After watching episodes 4-8, I was quite satisfied with the way the series was turning out, but also rather confused at the angle they were taking. The girls’ storylines advance a bit further and you see into the backgrounds of a few of them, though the others remain rather anonymous and I tend to forget their names. (Well, they did do a name recap in episode 8 for my benefit ^_^). Aeru finally gets to be Neville’s pair and Neville finally gets out of her emo dustbin so she can start killing people again.

A semi high point was short incidence of potential yurirape in episode 7 with Paried and the meganekko-with-a-crap-seiyuu-that-I-can’t-remember-the-name-of (/me ANN’s it) – Ah, Kaimu. Yeah, she’s one of the non-descript ones with no personality or background. Anyway, that scene was potentially good. But then Paried remembered something liked how she raped a girl in the past and then the girl didn’t like her any more and stopped. Oh well, the meganekko wasn’t hot anyway.

We also get the two “token extra characters” in episode 8 – Mamiina and the other one….err…Yun I think. The scene where Mamiina tries to yurirape Neville and fails because Aeru abseils through Neville’s window is probably the best scene in all 4 episodes. And while Mamiina is fail, Yun is traipsing all around the ship saying “OMG I hate war! Emoemoemo!” and fast becoming the least likeable character since Neville got out of her emo slump. She does seem to have low standards, though. Maybe she’s trying to become tsundere but failing. If so, she is MIGHTY FAIL.

Overall, I think the entire series is held up by Aeru, who is awesome, and Limone, who is stoic loli. Aeru gets more and more awesome a character through the series, mainly because she isn’t thinking of turning into a man and she isn’t weighed down by all the religoius emo nonsense that all the others are burdened by. Also, she’s an atheist , so that improves her in my books. Although she hasn’t tried to yurirape anyone yet, she did do a :3 when abseiling in through a window, so I’ll let that one go.

My main beef with the series is that it seems to touch on some really rather sensitive subjects in the world at the moment (namely religion and holy war) and then not really try to tackle them. Since the basic premise is that there are a lot of lands with different religions (some of which may have historically been the same) that are at war with this one particular religion, since it holds all the treasure (the helical motors).

And therefore thousands and thousands of soldiers from these lands get killed in seconds in each episode by very small numbers of ships for no particular reason other than that the land is really selfish and refuses to give any of the helical motors away. Also, in episode 8, I thought the suicide bombing was very very topical and was not entirely sure that it was relevant to the storyline.

i hope that in some further episode we find out exactly why the land with all the technology is so selfish (unlike in Mai Otome, where you never really find out why Garderobe was hiding all the technology), and there is a “I wonder if the side I’m fighting for is the right side” exposition to the girls. If it continues with the “My religion is best and owns all your religionsses” angle, I may have to rant a lot more in the next update.

Basically, Aeru owns everyone. The end.

Although specifically, I wrote this before I saw the episodes I commented on last post, its still kinda relevant. I thought that since Strawberry Panic is pretty much softcore hentai, what if they were making such a drama here, on this side of the Pacific? The result might have gone something like this…

TITLE – ICHIGOSHA GIRLS GONE WILD

CAST:

Suzumi TAMAO – A yuri nymphomaniac with a huge crush on NAGISA. Plays the flute.
Aoi NAGISA – A young freshman inexperienced in the ways of love.
Hanazono SHIZUMA – The hardy old dormitory handyman who’s secretly a beautiful woman in disguise
Konohana HIKARI – An innocent young lady who steadfastly refuses to admit that she is gay
Nanto YAYA – HIKARI’S childhood friend who has a huge crush on her. Though they have done the horizontal ditty, HIKARI refuses to admit that they are together.

SCENE 1

Ichigo-sha dormitory, DAY. All the usual furniture present in a student dormitory is absent, save for a large HEART SHAPED BED that dominates the room. In the corner there is a FLIMSY DESK with some of TAMAO’S PORN on it.

Enter TAMAO and NAGISA.

NAGISA: Ah! Tanoshikatta! That music lesson was so fun, wasn’t it Tamao-chan?

TAMAO: It certainly was, Nagisa-chan! but it would have been much less fun had Nagisa-chan not been there to see me play!

NAGISA: And I didn’t know that you could play the flute so well!

TAMAO laughs sweetly

TAMAO: By the way, Nagisa-chan, how are you feeling after running that marathon yesterday?

NAGISA: Actually, I’m feeling quite stiff! My muscles feel all tense and knotty.

NAGISA rubs her lower back and groans

TAMAO: Of course I would be happy to give you a massage, Nagisa-chan! Just take off all your clothes and lie back on the bed and relax.

NAGISA: All my clothes?

TAMAO: Of course, silly! How am I supposed to give you a proper massage through those thick clothes of yours?

NAGISA:(sweatdrops) Uhh, OK, Tamao-chan…

NAGISA disrobes and lies down on the HEART SHAPED BED. TAMAO removes a bottle of LUBRICANT from the desk drawer.

NAGISA: Uh…what’s that, Tamao-chan?

TAMAO quickly hides the bottle from view

TAMAO: It’s massage oil, Nagisa-chan! Massage oil!

NAGISA: But I thought I read “Mango flav…”

TAMAO: (interrupts) Don’t worry about that Nagisa-chan, you’re making your muscles more tense! Just lie back and relax, ne?

NAGISA: (hesitant)…OK

TAMAO starts to spread LUBRICANT over NAGISA’S back and thighs.

NAGISA: Ooh, that oil feels good, Tamao-chan! I can feel my aches melting away already!

TAMAO’S hands slip down to NAGISA’S NAUGHTY BITS

NAGISA: Ahh! Ohh! Tamao-chan! What are you doing? It’s dirty down there! Ahh! But it feels so good!

TAMAO: (giggles) I’ll make you feel much better, Nagisa-chan!

TAMAO glomps NAGISA. HIJINKS ensue

SFX: Knock on Door

TAMAO looks up. She has what appears to be a MILK MOUSTACHE. NAGISA is comatose.

SFX: Laughter

TAMAO: Come in!

Door opens. Enter SHIZUMA dressed in DUNGAREES and carrying a TOOLKIT. She has a large FAKE MOUSTACHE.

SHIZUMA: (noticing comatose NAGISA) Oh, I’m sorry, did I come at a bad time?

TAMAO: No! Not at all! What can I help you with?

SHIZUMA: I just came to fix your fridge, but it appears that someone has removed all the tools from my toolkit and replaced them with a variety of sex toys.

TAMAO: That’s no problem at all! In fact, we don’t even have a fridge!

TAMAO glomps SHIZUMA. More HIJINKS ensue. Sometime during the proceedings, SHIZUMA’S FALSE MOUSTACHE falls off.

Enter HIKARI. TAMAO and SHIZUMA are still doing the HORIZONTAL CHA-CHA on the bed next to a comatose NAGISA. HIKARI is wearing a SUKUMIZU.

HIKARI: Hi guys! We’re here for the usual tea party. ZOMG! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!

TAMAO and SHIZUMA don’t look up. HIKARI looks horrified and takes a step back. Enter YAYA wearing a skimpy POSTAGE STAMP SIZED BIKINI.

YAYA sweatdrops.

HIKARI: But ahh! Watching them makes me feel warm and tingly inside! Am I perverted Yaya-chan?

YAYA: (seizing her chance) No, Hikari-chan! It’s perfectly normal for a girl’s tnogue to be up another girl’s ass like that! And incidentally, I have always loved you!

HIKARI: Oh Yaya-chan! I love you too!

More Glompage. Yet more HIJINKS ensue.

CUT TO: Ichigo-sha dormitory, EVENING. SHIZUMA, TAMAO, HIKARI and NAGISA (who is now awake and wondering where all the other naked girls came from) are lying in the HEART SHAPED BED. TAMAO is smoking a POST-COITAL CIGARETTE. SHIZUMA is still comatose. YAYA is flicking through TAMAO’S PORN.

NAGISA: (to HIKARI). You know, I never thought it could feel so good…you know, with another girl!

FADE TO BLACK

SCENE 1 END

TSUZUKU

Please direct any flames towards the comments box. Have a nice day!